Is self-care really important? and How to find the time for it no matter your schedule.

Yes, Self-care is Important

It’s everywhere, the nonstop reminder to take a break and get your nails done. Tired of hearing about all this self-care nonsense, that no one has the budget or time for? Well first take a look at how Charles Stanely views motherhood.

"Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is also synonymous with servanthood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet the needs of their families. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers, or preparing meals, moms continuously put others before themselves." ~Charles Stanley 

Does this quote resonate with you? Do you feel like you are just a servant? Do you forget why you decided to work from home? Starting to regret being a stay-at-home mom? Do you often stress about how you could love your children, so much, but spend all day just living to get to bedtime? The thing is we look at these amazing moms on social media. We wonder how she can take care of 6 children, have a full-time job, blog, homeschool, clean the house, cook dinner, keep up with the laundry, and look flawless doing so. While we on the other hand, can barely find the time to brush our teeth. As moms we often spread ourselves too thin.

No Mom is Perfect 

We have this vision of this perfect mom and we try to replicate that. Well, let’s just bust the myth right now…THESE WOMEN DO NOT EXIST. Do not get me wrong, it is possible to get a lot done and be happy doing so. But, things are not going to go perfectly each and every day. Some days are great. You took your children to story time at the library, had a wonderful day at the park, and got dinner on the table on time. Some days are mediocre. You never made it out the house, but you washed a load of laundry and baked a batch of cupcakes with the kids. And some days are downright horrible. You made it to story time 20 minutes late. Your planned picnic was rained out. Your kid bit someone at the park, and no one took a nap. But who wants to glorify those moments. I mean, we cannot blame these women. They are doing what we all do. We share our greatest moments with the world and our lowest with family and friends. It is a natural thing to share your glory.

So, now that the idea of “mommy perfection” is out of our heads; the question remains, what can we actually do to make even the toughest days feel amazing. I found that the most important thing you can do to feel amazing is have a simple mind shift. Instead of focusing nonstop on being a great parent, start focusing on yourself.  When I decided to be a stay-at-home mom I didn’t make a plan. I didn’t fully think of any negatives that could come from it. At least nothing other than a potential financial issue. After a few months the reality of my new life set in. I realized that not working outside the home, left me with no time for myself. All my attention and energy were on my children. At the end of the day I felt so drained that I just sat on the couch stressed. I thought on all the things that went wrong. I agonized over how to become a better mom.

At the time, I was riddled of guilt, feeling like I had made a mistake and that I wasn’t grasping my new role in motherhood quick enough. With thoughts of doubts in my abilities, I felt as if my children were going to suffer from my pore decision. My children were 2 and 8 months at the time, even with my experience in the childcare field, something about this new role felt very uncontrollable. Working in a classroom full of children was different. The major differences at home were, there were no other adults around and no lunch breaks. It was just me and the kid’s day in and day out. Very easy to go Frozen❄ crazy.

After discussing my fears with my FiancĂ©, I came to the conclusion that making time for myself was the best for my children. My energy set the tone for their energy. Without self-care I couldn’t be my optimal self and that just wasn’t fair to them. I still often make excuses for why I can’t leave the kids and take time out for myself. In those moments I try to remember that caring for myself is what’s best for me. What’s best for me will be best for my children.

Self-care should be your number one priority. 

At the end of the day, the most important thing you can do for yourself is to, spoil yourself. Spoiling yourself is not selfish. The word ‘spoiled’ has a negative connotation but for me it’s a positive self-care mindset. Feeling great about yourself allows you to treat others better. If you do not allow yourself time to recharge, you’ll end up snapping on your children more than loving on them. Positivity breeds positivity. And let’s be honest we need all the help we can get to positively deal with a screaming toddler in the middle of Walmart.

The amount of time spent on yourself isn't the most important.

Let me say that again, "the amount of time spent on yourself isn’t the most important." It’s easy to have the excuse that you don’t have time. Your husband is out of town, or you have a deadline at work. Self-care is truly about the value you place on the time you take. It can be as simple as putting off chores during nap to watch your favorite tv show or rereading your favorite book. To as complex as a getaway weekend vacation. Self-care is about feeling more connected to yourself. Finding what makes you happy and what you need most in that moment. The important part is to take a few short and small moments every single day to do something for yourself. Give yourself the time to recharge.  Even if its just a few deep breaths.

Prioritize yourself the same way you do your children. You wouldn’t miss a dentist appointment for them. You would go out your way to make it to a last-minute birthday party with the right gift. Use this same energy on yourself. Ensuring you take those small moments each day will help greatly. Getting into this mindset allows you to practice these habits to give you the power that you need to get through each day. Being aware of what you need, will help you when you don’t have the time for those bigger getaways. This mindset will also give you the permission to seek out those moments.  However, let’s not forget to plan for the bigger days.  You can’t simply say, “one day I’m going to take an afternoon to myself”. That afternoon will never come. Plan it ahead of time and make accommodations to make sure that it happens.

Be sure to take time each day to take the time to reflect on your feelings and emotions. Take a moment to explore those thoughts. Use those thoughts to plan self-care moments. Do you need adult interaction? Plan a girl’s night or lunch. Plan an extra playdate. Do you need rest? Skip the park with the kids to stay in and watch a movie. Do you need time with your partner? Get a babysitter and take the time. Give yourself the permission to be spoiled. Allow yourself those moments, without remorse. The laundry will eventually get done. Don’t be afraid to skip a load.

Bottom Line

Make the shift and you won’t regret it, and neither will your family. You’ll be able to deal with that tantrum and not even break a sweat. If you’re starting to feel the burnout of “servanthood,” it might be time to call a babysitter and take a nap!! It is something that I still struggle with, but I try my best to schedule self-care, because I know it makes me a better person and mother.

What are some things you do to ensure your self-care bar stays full? Share in the comments below.